Mindset Musings

01 November 2019 / By Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D, MBA, PGDTA)


As a consulting Psychotherapist & Relationship Counsellor, I meet all kinds of people. Wives who hate their husbands. Husbands who hate their mother in laws. Brothers who can’t get along. Sisters who think they’ve
been shunted aside by their brothers. Wives who text their ex-boyfriends when their husbands ignore them. Cousins who are physically attracted to each other but choose to spread rumours about each other to the elders of the house. Husbands who stalk their college crushes & exchange nude photos of porn stars on their ‘Boyz in da house’ – Whatsapp group. You name it.

Are we all products of happenstance or design? Are we products at all? If yes, who are we being sold to? If you scroll through your Instagram feed you’ll see a wobbly & whimsical slurry of people in Croatia or sitting by a
lake in their latest outfits. Scroll further & you’ll strike a photographic goldmine of attractive babies & those who drink wine with their photogenic best friends every weekend. Scroll further & you’ll discover your newsfeed has pastry obsessed humanitarians who also known exotic cats that speak 7 different languages. What’s the pitch really? Who do we claim to be? The information is all around us & yes how many of us really reach out for the truth? Are we who we say we are, what we show to the world or is what they said about us accurate?

The world we’re currently living in filled with anger, confusion, pain & some pretty arbitrary benchmarks. We set targets & limits for ourselves & often fret at ‘fate’ & ‘people’ when things don’t go according to plan. I
always tell my client that however fast you run on a treadmill, the scenery around you, doesn’t change. The same analogy applies for how we treat time in our lives. So often, people get stuck & are unable to understand
why this happens at all.

When we reach a point where absolutely can’t ‘take it any more’, it’s important to ask the question on ‘what got me here in the first place’? Through my blog, Mindset Musings, I’ll be sharing my personal views & insights on various aspects of the human mind & how we think & plan our lives. What is it that drives us towards this infinite abyss of wonderful uncertainties & damning absoluteness. Why are we do predictable to the world & yet mysterious to ourselves? Our grievances are are highly permutable & our emotions are highly permittable
& yet we’re lost & stuck in loops.

We change when we’ve sufficiently suffered & we rage when we’re adequately ruffled. We talk when we’re sufficiently bored & we stall on conflict when we’re adequately intimidated. How do we solve our problems

Despite our many flaws, does hope lie in merely waving our arms & posting about ‘how bad it really is’ by expecting everyone to believe that our posts on ‘positive thinking’ are more than just a smokescreen to side-
step our own shames & games?

I believe that every person deserves an honest, fair & perhaps even far less palatable version of events so that they learn to be clear & committed to the way in which they live their lives.

This blog is about no longer ‘bull-shitting ourselves’ & yet retaining that excitement & curiosity about ‘how do we do it better’.

When I ask my clients why they’ve chosen to suffer, they woefully apprise me that suffering has in fact chosen them. There’s so much that gets said & yet there’s so little that gets analysed. What’s really happening in our
heads & in our lives?

I hope so offer some perspective & help to raise some questions to help you on your journey towards betterment & a more refined sense of purpose.

I have no delusions of ‘world change’ through my writing nor am I affiliated with or peddling any particular religion. If what I share here touches you & reaches you emotionally, I’d love to hear back from you.

Welcome to my – Mindset Musings Blog

About The Author

Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D, MBA, PGDTA)

Dr. Aman Bhonsle is a highly qualified Relationship Counsellor, Youth Mentor & Trainer in Applied Transactional Analysis. He is professionally trained in a wide range of contemporary models of Psychological Counselling such as Transactional Analysis (TA), Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), Humanistic School of Rogerian Counselling (Robert Carkhuff Model), Psychodrama & Gestalt Therapy.